I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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