I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
