FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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