Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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