Where is the hickey?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
