I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
