this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Barsexuality is the new black.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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