I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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