So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Hippo gnu deer
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
