if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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