Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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