You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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