p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
