Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
