im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You're like the curious george of whores
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
