She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
