i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....