Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.