I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?