i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
