It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
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dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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