i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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