i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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