Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
