I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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