In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
