piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
