When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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