No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
