so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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