better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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