He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
