He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
