and my herpes radar will keep us safe
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
