just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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