Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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