Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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