I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
