I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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