We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
