i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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