theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
