the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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