Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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