The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
