Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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