There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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