For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
