she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
