I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
