you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
bring money and cleavage
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
