whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
