I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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