Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
should my penis look like a turkey
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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