If i come over, it means nothing
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
