If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
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Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
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Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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