I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
