so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
