return my video game
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I love having hate sex.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
