Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
too bad you live with your parents still
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize