someone get that fucking seahorse.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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